Category Archives: thoughts

Between a rock and a hard place

12 Tuesday Jul 2011

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Sitting by the sidelines and watching the escalating exchange of fire between Northern and Southern Sudanese forces….and the international community’s response has been appalling in the days leading to S. Sudan’s independence. The selective reporting that pitted the “evil”, genocide-inducing National Congress Party of the north against the perpetual victims and valiant rebels-turned politicians of S. Sudan was at times too much to handle.  In no way am I making excuses for the governing northern regime, they have dug their grave so they must lie in it, but the uneven and blatantly bias rhetoric was splattered across most major international news outlets and echoed by foreign representatives across “Western” nations, made me seriously question their agendas and intentions. Sudanese Allied Forces’ (SAF) re-entry into the disputed area of Abyie a few weeks back created a media outcry, with UN agencies citing “war crimes”. These same sources failed to mention that this entry into Abyie was a direct retaliation to an attack on SAF by SPLA as they were withdrawing from the region with UN escorts. For news outlets, trying to capture an audience, even for a few seconds in digital world where we are constantly bombarded with blaring headlines from famine-stricken babies to the rampage of drug addicted superstars, the narrative of good vs evil set against the backdrop of war-torn nation is an a quick, eye grabbing fix. A fix that completely over-simplifies the context and reduces the struggles of either sides to good and bad, omitting key elements in between.

Let’s be very clear here in pointing out both sides north-(NCP) and South (SPLM) have blood on their hands and are far from innocent bystanders. Both have actively and systematically used deceitful tactics that have put their own citizens in harm’s way for the sake of their self-interest.  As the international media went on and on to highlight the atrocities of the governing northern, regime, they painted a very rosy picture of the new media darling and the president-elect of S. Sudan, Silva Kirr. At times I found myself feeling some sort of sympathy for the way the North was being portrayed. Its people were simply lumped under the actions of the government (NCP). In wide-sweeping assumptions across news feeds, the people of the North were portrayed as supporters and perpetrators along with the governing regime.  Silva Kirr was using some lessons he picked up and has begun systematically disfranchise the people of the South. There are several armed struggles that are waging war against Silva Kirr/SPLM. In the past S. Sudanese untied against a common enemy; an enemy that  fine-tuned the British mentality of divide and conquer to consolidate wealth and power and leave the vast majority of the population in the dust; now the S. Sudanese government is doing just that.  I can’t blame the British or any colonial power but ourselves. At the hands of autocratic leaders, the diversity and beauty of Sudan’s peoples, cultures and religions was lost in a war that sought to highlight their differences rather their centuries of co-habitation and integration.

Now it seems that history may repeat itself in this newly formed nation.

Although the plight of S. Sudan was always at the forefront, many regions of Sudan suffer from the same treatments. I cannot deny that there wasn’t a strong element of racism propagated by the northern regime that added to the complexity of S. Sudan’s problems. But looking to the east, west or even far north of Sudan, there are many who are fighting for development and improved access to basic services (schools, health,etc). In some parts of the country, where relatively high numbers of individuals immigrated early on, mainly to Gulf countries; they have provided the life-link that supported families and communities back home–not the government. So as some outsiders might see development in some regions and attribute it to government support, in reality it is the collective effort of communities and the remittances received from brethren abroad that has helped in providing schools, health clinics, electricity, etc.

As the both Bashir and Kirr gave speeches that struck conciliatory tones of peace and harmony, both have failed to hone the diversity of their land and peoples constructively. Sadly it is the people of Sudan and South Sudan who are left between a rock and a hard place. Struggling to cope while their leaders, seek to maintain their strong grip on power and wealth.

Fall of the Arab-African Giant

08 Friday Jul 2011

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Today marks the last day of Sudan as one nation as we know it
Tomorrow we will witness the birth of a new nation
One that will embark on a path to build new foundations 

With purest intentions, well wishes to all
With all new beginnings comes euphoria and joy
My farewell to you is bittersweet
I hope that you stand up to the daunting challenges ahead
Never shy away and be wary of decoys 

Today marks the fall of the Arab-African giant
The overwhelming mass that glued together an unlikely alliance
A land that melded African generosity with Arab hospitality
Now it stands divided
Scrambling to retain some semblance of reciprocity 

As with every new birth there is an overwhelming sense of rapture
A sense that can hopefully heal all that decades of war has fractured
Like any new born everyday will present a new set of teething pains
I hope to watch you as take your first steps towards your prime
With every baby step maturing into a nation
With time 

I share your joy yet feel so wounded
Like I’ve been robbed, conned or hounded
Our leaders have been inflicted with that contagious “African” disease
The one that blinds them to their own selfishness and greed
Leaders in North and South both share the same symptoms
Disregard for their people
And treating the nation(s) as their own personal sanctums 

It hurts to me repeat
“ana Sudani ana…lamana al wadi sawa” (I am Sudani I am, The valley has bounded us together)
For it serves as a constant reminder
How we could not resolve our internal issues
And let outsiders; jolt us around like disposable pieces of tissues 

We stand today on opposite sides of arbitrary boundaries
Drawn by drunken men, in a feverish congregation driven by gluttony
Today we fight over invisible borders that divide us further
Rather than taking command of the drawing boards
And listening to our ethnic tunes that severed as our umbilical cords 

With a heartfelt sweep I bid you farewell
Hoping that what’s in the hearts of the our collective people
Rise above the propaganda and deceit of our leaders
Rise above the ill-intentioned whispers of foreign speakers

Can you spare some sugar…

09 Thursday Jun 2011

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Landing at Khartoum airport at 1:25 AM, I exited the flight door and made my way down the steps to catch the shuttle bus to the main terminal… I was greeted with a warm slap of hot air. That familiar smell of dust filled my nostrils as I made my way through immigration. In the few days I spent in Khartoum, running around tending to family related matters and squeezing in visits to extended families, I couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling that kept growing in my stomach.

A series of events kept wringing the knot in my stomach tighter….

As we exited the airport and made our way home, I noticed the increased presence of military patrolling the streets. Drivers slowly cruised by and some were occasionally waved to stop for further questioning by on-guard policemen. That sight immediately took me back to the fear that was instilled in Sudan during the late 80s early 90s when curfews were in place and movement around the city was severely restricted. My uncle noted that it’s just precaution, preparing for the worst… and I kept quiet.

A trip to the any local shop is depressing, the shelves are fully stocked but I’m not really sure how people can afford to buy anything. Taking a 20 Pound (SDG) note, that could easily have paid for a handful of shopping items, at the butcher’s it came as a great surprise that 3/4 a kilo of mutton is 18 Pounds… so much for trying to buy some veggies to make a decent meal. My sister naively asked how do people afford meat, my aunt somberly replied..”they don’t, they use stock cubes to remember the taste of meat.”

In an effort to replace some missing documents my mother made her way to various government bureaus to get her paperwork in order. As she exited one of the buildings 2 young men on a motorcycle took hold of her bag and tried to pull it off her shoulder. Luckily she managed to hold on tight and they could not get away with her belongings. She came home rattled by this incidence yet no one seemed fazed. The apathy in people’s demeanor disturbed me even more than the attempted robbery. Instead, I found hints of pity in people’s voices when discussing this matter, they felt what would you expect young, job-less men/boys to do but to revert to such acts. It seems that everyone will stoop to stealing. I grew up hearing the praises of Sudanese trustworthiness. How someone would go out of their way to return a lost bag or item…these days if it’s gone forget about it because someone is most likely trying to make a quick buck out of it. When it was safe to keep you drawers open at work or walk away from your belongings without hestitation…these days you have to think twice about that.

As we passed by Alghaba Street at night, the hollow stalls of numerous handicraft vendors stood empty. This juncture of this particular street is famous for street vendors, mainly from S. Sudan selling beautifully crafted artwork from ebony and bones. When I asked a question to no one in particular, what is going to happen to all these guys?…will they return to S. Sudan. I was met by a unexpectant response from the taxi driver. “Come July we’ll show them.”

To me, these incidences demonstrated the clear disintegration of a society and its social, economic and moral foundations. Meanwhile, high-end cafes were primarily packed with young, well to do college students. So far removed from reality. It seems that everyone in Khartoum seems to in some sort of valium-induced state of coherency. No one wants to see the clear signs upon then or maybe or maybe disregard for these changing times is a coping mechanism. As everyone struggles to put food on the table….nationalist propoganda is turning fellow countrymen against each other.

During my short stay, many didn’t have a clue to the extend of unrest taking place between the border regions. The exchange of unfriendly fire between North and South… no one even knew it was taking place. The country is slowly approaching its boiling point and most citizens are numb to the pain. Have they been burned far too many times to feel the sting this round? I worry and this recent trip has only added to my worries. Not only is it becoming increasingly harder to live day by day… the moral foundation that was engrained in  me, that I have always equated with Sudan is no longer there.

Around Addis: public transport

03 Friday Jun 2011

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I  have a love-hate relationship with the distinctive blue and white mini-van public transport taxis in Addis. They run along various predetermined routes….or at least they are supposed to. But like everyone trying to make a little more money, the drivers’ routes deviate from time to time. As a new arrival to Ethiopia, not knowing the city, the language or any other person to depend on, to occupy my time on weekends, I took these taxis around everywhere to get to major markets around town. My first visits to Merkato as well as Shiro Meda was through the use of string of these taxis. It was novel, cheap and I got to see more of the city. Through sign language and bits of English from taxi users, I got directions on where to get off and which taxis to take to certain places. One of my more memorable taxi stop conversations, with a lovely older lady was etiquette of taking these taxis. She began to give me words of advice when she realized I was not Ethiopian and new the city. She told me the most useful word I would need on these taxis is…’waraja’ (I took it to mean stop (here))”

But that love has certainly weaned off. As the occasional pedestrian and a fellow driver along the roads of Addis, these taxis are a true menace at times. Their snaking around lanes, abrupt stops and the tendency to cut you off are somewhat annoying. There is little regard for the common pedestrian. Although in defense of taxi drivers pedestrians here are something else (at times believing that they too have licence plates attached to their front and back).

As the taxis come to an abrupt stop you find a young boy/man shouting the names of the last stop. Their rapid and peculiar way of shouting out names of boroughs around the cities needs a trained ear. For a first timer, as I once was, it was difficult to distinguish what they were saying and where they were going.

Today in an effort to regulate taxis the government has imposed  predesignated routes and instructed all taxis to place signs over head. Unfortunately all the signs are in Amharic. From my Ethiopian friends, I gather that even those who can read them have had difficulty understanding the final destination as the written names don’t correspond to names of stops previously belted out.

 

Love them or hate them, these taxis are probably the preferred form of transport around Addis and the most abundant. Many times there aren’t enough and you find people piling up in hoards waiting for the a seat in any taxi headed in their desired direction. One thing is for sure, they definitely keep me as a driver on my toe…because you never know what to expect from them.

Black Jesus

31 Tuesday May 2011

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Some years back prior to moving to Ethiopia a family friend gave me a beautiful painting from Ethiopia with 3 chocolate coloured, almond-eyed women sitting around and making coffee. Their distinctive faces are typical of drawings and paintings that date back centuries in the Ethiopian Orthodox church. Although I do not frequent many churches, I did notice something rather odd, outside all major churches in Addis there are men or women selling large posters of a blue-eyed, blond-haired Mary holding a milk-coloured baby Jesus. I was caught a bit off-guard.

I then took a trip to Lalibella, which I blogged about last year. There among the 11 rock-hewn churches that we traversed, I saw only 2 main pictures depicting biblical figures as seen in the Ethiopian Orthodox Church. Instead around each and every altar there was this new image, a foreign image. I couldn’t really understand the significance or implications on the religion.

Last week I attended a lecture where this very same issue was brought up. From a religious point of view, I can’t even begin to delve into the matter because I know far too little. As an art from it is sad that such iconic images are disappearing from the view. I get the sense that some view this style of art as archaic vestiges of the Orthodox Church. Although the church popularized this artistic style, it is not only limited to the church but represents a style  that has been crafted, and refined in Ethiopia.

Again with so many matters that compel me to write a blog post, I have more questions than answers. It is understandable in this increasingly interconnected world that with many things including art, food, music there is a global sampling process taking place, but how is this process taking shape? why are some things so easily adopted and why are we so quick to let go of what we have?  Observing this shift in Ethiopian art, made me reflect on the fact that in Sudan we widely celebrate international artists, and at regional scale many Middle Eastern artists but are not so generous to our own home-grown talent. In terms of music there is wide appreciation but when it comes to visual arts, there is relatively little support or praise.

I ask my Ethiopian friends to shed some light on this issue with respect to the disappearance of black Jesus from church mantles across the country. As for fam and friends out there, we need to do a better job of promoting and supporting our local artists, because it is a shame that their unique and inspiring work is going about unnoticed and being overwhelmed by works in the international sphere.

 

 

 

 

” Dark like charcoal”

26 Thursday May 2011

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A few days ago I watched a preview of a documentary titled ” Dark Girls”, which follows the stories of numerous African-American women and their struggle with dark skin. As I watched this short clip, their stories were all too familiar. These same stigmas dominate our culture in Sudan and I would venture to say even the horn of Africa. Speaking from experiences in Sudan and what I have come to find out in Ethiopia, the issue of skin colour has been indoctrinated into every little girl in both countries.

During my time in the US, I came to find that some African-American women looked at North/East African women with disdain. I took me a while to understand that looks had to do a lot with it. Skin complexion, long hair, high cheekbones. Little did they know that these very same way they viewed East African women, women from the horn applied the same stringent principles on themselves.

In Sudan, and I guess now I have to differentiate (Northern Sudan), a common catch phrase for a mother, auntie or female relative to blurt out is “why have you been spending so much time in the sun, you are dark like charcoal.” Growing up in a fairly open-minded family, despite their consciousness on many other serious issues, they were blind to the backward ways in which they view skin colour. I grew up very conscious of the fact that I am on the darker end of the spectrum when it comes to members of my family. My mother, also having darker skin tone than her siblings was endearingly referred to with pet names that if someone outside our family heard, would be taken a back. When in a gathering of women who are discussing any young girl, skin colour almost always trumps all other features that we define as beautiful. So it doesn’t really matter so long as you are light-skinned you are considered beautiful.

Beauty regiments that Sudanese girls follow are ludicrous. Skin bleaching creams are the norm, which an unfortunate thing to say. The prevalence of kidney disease among Sudanese women is astonishingly high…yet no one wants to correlate the excessive use of skin bleaching cream with this disease. The local industry is booming with “home-made” concoctions that god only knows what’s inside. In an effort to get that “perfect complexion” the length some go to is very worrying. Even those who cannot afford these expensive creams or mixtures frequent small shops all around the country called ” قدر ظروفك” which roughly translates to “weigh your circumstances”. These shops sell such goods in varying quantities depending on the money you have available, they will put a dollop of cream in foil or if you can afford it you can walk out with the entire tube or jar.

What’s sad is the implications of skin colour on the society, dark, blotchy skin is equated with diminished marriage prospects. So in the process, young women, plagued by this social stigma are willing to try any product in the quest to find that lighter, even skin tone. When their skin is damaged, which in most instances is the case after usage of these products, you often see ghost-like young girls parading around town with a layer of thick concealer or powder on their faces; often several shades lighter than their true tone. What’s slightly more amusing is that many of these girls walk around donning black gloves, in a country where 50 degrees celsius around some months is the norm. All in an effort to hide the fact that they have used these lightening creams only on their faces and the disparity between their hands and faces is shockingly visible.

So in watching the preview of this documentary and reflecting on the issue back home, why are many women in our community and across the globe applying such harsh standards on themselves? what is causing our society to think in this manner? I would definitely like to see the full documentary and see what conclusions it draws based on its numerous interviews. I do fear that they may still reflect upon many black women as self-hating individuals without actually looking at the root causes of why this stigma is so widespread. I do believe media has a very powerful role in this case. When one is bombarded with thousands of adverts, commercials and billboards with “beautiful” young light-skinned women, the average young lady starts to equate skin tone with success. Why is that she is seeing a light-skinned girl and not someone who looks like her? The multi-billion dollar beauty industry does an impeccable job of peddling products and keeps generating media to support the cause for women everywhere under-appreciating their beauty.

All in all, I really do believe that we need to start a serious dialogue about this issue. For all my Sudanese sisters who are so close to my heart and all the other women out there who are perpetuating this stigma. As a community, we need to start looking within as well and figuring out what we need to do to help dispel these notions.

Better the devil you know

08 Friday Apr 2011

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On the heels of popular revolutions that swept desolate regimes out of power in Tunis and then Egypt, Sudanese youth frustrated by the current situation in country tried to follow suit. Despite numerous attempts to organize and stage protests, most groups around the country were met with very violent suppression of their activities and these efforts failed to garner large-scale support. Sudan and the Sudanese people are no strangers to popular revolutions. The will of the people triumphed twice to overthrow dictatorial regimes and put in place governments that are more representative of the people. Two popular revolutions later….. and youth are in the midst of plotting a third. Questions that come to mind is that after 2 successful revolutions, what has the country learned? and why has this third attempt been a relative flop?

From my limited spectrum, it seems to me that the ruling regime took in a lot of lessons, while the people have quickly forgotten. The current regime dutifully did their homework on how best to weaken the opposition. As a result within their reign, organizations that were hotbeds for resistance were quickly dismantled including worker’s unions and academic institutions. This led to a mass exodus of people from the country currently living in the diaspora. Fast forward to today, the government is just as technologically savvy as the opposition. They have cleverly infiltrated social media resistance groups and carefully followed every step of the process. Although this aided in quickly dismantling the physical protests that took place, there are other factors that have led to the breakdown of this movement.

It seems that the primary reason for this lackluster initiative is the lack in numbers. The vast majority of the population is apathetic. Their view is “better the devil you know” after decades of living under the rule of the current government, many are fearful that the next wave of “leaders” will be more brutal and more corrupt. So they would rather have a government they have grown to expect disappointment wrapped in bits and pieces of piecemeal relief (a road here, a hospital there, etc). The political and economic situation of the country is as weak and uncertain as ever, and those who weren’t swayed to join protestors  in the streets would argue that now is not the time….there are too many variables and the average citizens is trying to figure out how to put food on the table with the various austerity measures that have been put in place.  To add to this equation, the current government has a genuinely strong supporters who believe in their “cause”.

What lies ahead for Sudan or the 2 Sudans that will emerge in the coming months, no one can foretell. All one can hope for is that the political leadership has an ounce of pragmatism to steer the nation to more stable grounds.

Sparks have ignited a flame in Sudan…

30 Sunday Jan 2011

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A strong wave of student-led anti-government sentiments began to reverberate through facebook throughout the past few days as Sudanese youth mobilized their peers in participating in demonstrations against the current government. Given the recent events in Tunisia and then Egypt and Yemen, young Sudanese across the country and abroad called for peaceful protests on Jan 30. Prior to the planned protests, roughly 12,000 people confirmed their participation. The official website stated:

The people of Sudan will not remain silent anymore, It is about time we demand our rights and take what’s ours in a peaceful demonstration that will not involve any acts of sabotage, We will demonstrate against the rising of the prices, the corruption, unemployment and all false practices of the government such as violence against women and lashing them in ways that breaks all laws of religions and humanity and the violation of minorities rights.
It is about time we use our god given voice to demonstrate against an injustice government that is willing to sacrifice its people and its land to remain on the higher power.
it is about time we show what we’re really made of, it is about time we restore or lost honor, it is about time we fight for our god given rights.
our brothers in Tunisia did it and so did our brothers in Egypt.
It is about time for us.

* picture from Aljazeera

The pro-government newspapers were quick to denounce this “charade”. Prior to the planned protests several anti-government activists were detained and late last night cars were stopped and searched by police forces.

Early on today reports indicated that several student demonstrators were arrested. As the size of the demonstrations grew, police stepped up the violence, including the use of teargas to disband the protests. Videos of protestors were posted on youtube. Despite a respectable number of protestors, it is still unclear the impact these demonstrations had on the destabilizing the current regime.  Organizers seem persistent and are calling for similar protests tomorrow afternoon. In addition to the protests that took place in Khartoum, students across other cities such as ElObied stormed the central markets.

I hope that these demonstrations send a strong message to those in government. The Sudanese people have overthrown 2 previous regimes through popular uprisings. Although this government has done its very best to silence unions, universities and all institutions that have previously spoke on behalf of the people. Growing frustration among many Sudanese, could be a  catalyst to reignite the fervor that has always been in Sudanese blood to stand up for their rights….to speak up and for their voices to be heard.

It’s snowballing….

25 Tuesday Jan 2011

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On the heels of intense riots that have ousted Tunisian President Ben Ali, Egpytians organized a series of protests/demonstrations across various cities in Egypt to denounce President Mubarak. The riots have taken a very violent turn with rioters and police forces clashing and many arrests. Below is some of the colorful slogans being used:

قوم يا جرجس قول يا يونس.. بكره مصر تحصل تونس
ثورة ثورة حتي النصر.. ثورة في تونس وكمان مصر
قوم يا زين قول لمبارك.. السعودية في إنتظارك

rough translation:

Get up Gergis, Get up Tunis.. Tomorrow Egypt will follow Tunis
Revolution, revolution until victory.. Revolution in Tunis and also in Egypt
Get up Zein and say to Mubarak….Saudia Arabia is awaiting

Unity vs. Secession: thoughts on the Sudanese Referendum

25 Tuesday Jan 2011

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Over the past few months I have been continuously asked about my impressions of the Southern Sudan Referendum. As the days drew near and the week-long voting ended the questions changed to what are my thoughts of eminent division of Sudan. Preliminary results show overwhelming support for secession, which comes as no surprise. I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. It was evident many years prior to this vital decision point. Frankly I am a bit aghast by those who are grieving the eminent division of the country. Honestly the notion of unity crashed, burned and died along with the late Dr. John Garang. The late Southern Sudanese SPLM leader was probably the only one with a visionary view of united Sudan. To many in power it was $$$ that dictated their decisions, both North and South. In focusing only on the last 5 years post the signing of the Comprehensive Peace Agreement it is evident Northern powers that be failed to make unity a viable option for the South and Southerners failed to adequately engage with a government that was half heartedly (if that) supporting their cause.

For me secession is a decision that I have easily come to accept and for the most part many young Sudanese of my generation probably share the same sentiments. The decision to secede in the South is unanimous. For those in the North,some  sympathize with the Southern cause and can understand their desire for self-determination after decades of neglect. Others are tired of constantly hearing blames from the South that it was the North/ Northerners who kept them down, given that Southern Sudan has its own myriad of internal regional issues. It was easy for most Southerners to unite against one common enemy “Northern Sudanese government”. It those who are part of an older era from the North who are lamenting this event. To them their identity is somehow intertwined in Sudan that is known as the largest country in Africa, in a Sudan that represents more 500 ethnic groups and over 200 dialects.

In looking ahead, Southern Sudan faces tremendous hurdles to self governance. The region is desperately in need of development. Many in power today were part of the decades-long civil war, making the transition from war to politics can be a challenge. There are too many external influences and too many internal problems between various tribal groups that can destabilize the process of formulating a new nation. The North isn’t in the greatest shape either, standing to lose more than 80% of its oil revenues it has embarked on various austerity measures, which have sparked tensions and riots, well before the Tunisian revolution hit the airwaves. The events that unfolded in Tunis served as a stark reminder to Northern Sudanese governing powers of their precarious position and unstable foundation, that has made them fairly weary. With secession, we stand to see 2 very weak and fragile states that have a very tough uphill battle. The hope is that the oil, which is seen as a “black curse” in many African nations, could be the cure to insuring stability in the region. Both the North and South are starting to realize regardless of the outcome of this secession, they are economically intertwined and need to maintain cordial relations in order to sustain their economies.